Love for Shoes

I have never been a shoe girl. I don’t love shoe shopping and I have never came across any shoe that I simply could not live without. I could wear the same pair of shoes for a year and it wouldn’t even cross my mind that it might be time for a shoe change. I have worn the same work shoe for 6 years now. And no I do not mean that I have worn the same, dirty, contaminated old pair of work shoes for 6 years. I just mean that every year when its time to invest in a new pair, I buy the same style/brand of shoe again and again. They are so comfortable and never hurt my feet like so many others have after a long day at work. Why on earth would I get another kind. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it.

I barely learned to walk in high heels 2 years ago. Up to that point I have always felt too tall to wear anything higher than a ½ inch flat. I never “owned” my height, as they say. But to my surprise one day Jay and I were out of town on a mini vacation. I was 6 months pregnant at the time and feeling adventurous that day. I started trying on high heels and when I say high heels, what I really should be calling them is low heels. They are no bigger than 2.5 inches but that is high enough for me. The women out there that wear the 5 inch heels are very brave in my eyes. So I ended up taking home 2 pairs on that trip.

I have just recently began to have a small sense of why so many girls are shoe obsessed. I don’t know why after all these years of not caring, I am now catching myself going into the shoe section and trying on all kinds of different shoes. Shoes can change the whole mood of your outfit and I even decided that wearing a heel makes me feel more womanly/sexy. After all day long of changing diapers, wiping snotty noses and playing dolls I can put on a pair of heels and go on a date with my husband and still feel somewhat pretty again.

So after all this time of not caring about what shoe was on my foot as long as it was comfortable, it took Brylee beans until she learned how to walk to figure out her love for shoes. Every time I walk in the room she has a different pair of shoes on. She has recently learned how to put her very own shoes on all by herself. Shoe was one of her first words, and I have a feeling I have got a long road ahead of me with her and her love for shoes.

Reflection

I was 13 years old and attending Junior High. School wasn’t about learning or classes for me. It was about friends, writing notes to friends, and what are we going to this weekend? Even now, Jay will be talking about some history fact or past war and I have NO idea what he is actually talking about, I say to him “where on earth do you pick this stuff up” and he says, “I remember it from school.” He seriously really learned things in school. I however did not. The older I get the more I want to study and learn and things “stick” but lets just say middle to high school was not my shinning moment. I did what I had to do to get by and that was it.

Why am I thinking about junior high? Because in junior high they gave us a test.(this test does stand out in my mind unlike any other one I was ever given) This test was a career test. Basically it gave you a series of random type questions and it was supposed to give you an idea of what you might be good at or what career field might interest you. It took a couple weeks to get the results back but when you got them back it gave you what you got the highest scores in ex: Arts, Math, Science etc. And then at the very bottom of the test it gave you an actual career that matched all of your answers the best. My career…….Dental Hygienist. In my 13 year old mind I thought why would I want to look in peoples mouths all day, sick. At that point you are going to be young forever and when you do get in your twenties you just find a “rich man” to take care of you for the rest of your life, while you live next door to your best friend and shop all day. So I moved on with my life.

When I graduated High school it hit me, I think it might be a good idea to try and get a better job than my Daley freez career path I was going down at the time. Don’t get me wrong, those were some of the funnest memories that I remember, but everyone seemed to be moving on and it was my turn too. I applied to a dental assisting program and finished. That time was a really tough time in my life because of my parents separation, and to be honest I blocked a lot of that time from my memory but what I do remember is that I had made my first step to having a “real” job.

I was lucky enough to stumble upon a great dentist. He took a fresh, bright eyed 18 year old and decided to take a chance on me and hire me. I worked as his assistant for 2 years before I decided I was brave enough to go back to college. He was good enough to me that he let me leave for work early every night so I could head to night school and get there on time. He was a big reason I kept going and signing up for classes, and little by little I was getting closer to being done. It took me 4 long years of going to school continuously even through summer semesters until I got all of my pre-requisites for Hygiene school.

I applied to two different schools and got un acceptance letters from both of them. I pretty much gave up on my dream at that point. I had just met Jay so it was easy to forget about all my hard work and move on to thinking about a future with him. We had been dating 5 months when I got the call. It was a hygiene school telling me that one of the 30 girls chosen had dropped out and that I was the next person on the list of 200+ applicants. Was I interested? First issue, the school was in Boise where I didn’t know a single soul. Next issue, could I leave this man that I was falling for and move away from him for the next two years? I told the lady Yes, yes I was interested and hung up the phone and immediately started crying. I called my parents and they couldn’t understand me. I muttered out the words” I got accepted” and I remember my dad saying, then why are you upset?

Long story short, I made it through 2 years of grueling hygiene school. It was so physically and mentally demanding and exhausting that I have know idea how I actually made it through. But somehow I did and looking back I pretty much only remember the good and positive experiences. I love how the human mind works that way. I moved back to Utah and got to go back to work for the same dentist that I had been an assistant for all those years.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how blessed I am to be able to live in a country where I can simply go to school if I choose and come out with a good job. I get to work for an amazing boss who in his eyes, I am irreplaceable. I can take my sick child to the hospital and get the treatments that are necessary to nurse her back to health. With all the turmoil going on in the world, I still feel safe to walk my streets and feel secure in our home. There is so much to be grateful for and in my life, blessings are overflowing. It is very easy to focus on all the negatives in life, today I choose to focus on the positives. Random post I know, but the past month has been a reflecting time for me and I could not be more looked after.